


The Tended Flower Blooms

by Amaranthines



Category: My Engineer มีช็อป มี เกียร์ มีเมียรึยังวะ
Genre: Alcohol usage and mention, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mostly an exploration of Ram finding his way, Ram POV, Stitches mentioned, Sweet, semi-fluffy, some conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaranthines/pseuds/Amaranthines
Summary: A new boy comes into Ram's life and he's not sure how to handle it. This boy is everything he isn't, and yet his silence doesn't scare him off.
Relationships: King|Ram (My Engineer), Ram|King
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	The Tended Flower Blooms

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly canon compliant. I tweaked some of the conversations and events to flow a little better. This is just my thoughts on what's going on in Ram's head through all of this. His silence needs to be explored.

Ram wasn’t sure how to handle this new boy in his life. This loud boy who brought chaos and noise into his normally quiet life. This boy who somehow managed to wiggle his way into being a part of his life. This boy who didn’t know how to sit still, or be quiet. This boy who was suddenly everywhere he went. This boy who had figured him out within their first meeting. This boy who didn’t try to change him. This boy who accepted him, and instead tried to learn more about him so he could adapt to him without making things unbearable for Ram. 

No Ram didn’t know what to do with this boy. 

He was willing to learn though. 

He’d always been a quiet kid. No, that’s not true. He’d been more outgoing in elementary school. When they still lived in Australia. He looked more like the other kids. It was easier to make friends at that age too. When they’d moved to Thailand for his dad’s work and he’d become the focus of every class he was in; then he became quiet. Taking after his mum his lighter skin and chiseled features set him apart from his classmates. Because of this, and his trouble with adapting to the language he found trouble at every turn. He learned it was easier, and better for him, to stay quiet and out of the way. 

It worked for him. People left him alone. Mistaking his silence with not understanding. He was okay with this. Better to be alone than ridiculed or bullied. He had his dogs. They understood him. Their unconditional love and adoration made up for not having friends. It was better this way. 

He had taken up boxing in high school because he’d learned that even if you were quiet and stayed out of the way he would still become the focus of someone’s hate. So he learned to end fights quickly, or before they even started. Soon the muscles and his reputation kept everyone out of his way. Eventually the tattoos also provided that extra barrier. This was best. 

He wasn’t really sure why Duen had latched on to him somewhere between 10th and 11th grade. Likely it had to do with him standing up for the shy bubbly boy when he’d become the target of some of the tougher bullies, but after that Duen was by his side. He didn’t mind that Ram rarely talked, or that his reputation was not the best. Duen was sometimes too naïve for his own good, but he didn’t mind. It was nice to have another person by his side that wasn’t his little brother. 

As high school progressed they picked up TingTing, Tang, and Phu. He suddenly found he had friends that just accepted him for being the shy quiet kid. They knew he had their backs when they needed it, and in return they invited him to go out to eat, study together, and just be around them. The fact that they liked his dogs was a bonus. 

When they had all gotten into the same university he was relieved. He’d gotten used to having friends, and was glad his would still be around him as they moved further into adulthood. Even though they were in different faculties, they still made time for each other.

Their Uni was small enough that Ram had seen P’King around. Faculty initiations had made it impossible to not know who the seniors were, and P’King’s reputation as one of the smartest kids in the engineering department was enough to make him known and admired by the juniors. 

This new turn though. Where this noisy boy was in his life was really Duen’s fault. He’d had a run in with Bohn, and because he was so naïve and nice he’d been sucked into a game of cat and mouse with the senior. Sometimes Ram wished he knew how to use his words better so he could get some sense into that boy. Luckily TingTing and Tang were more vocal and did their best to keep him out of trouble, or at least tried. 

Duen may be shy, naïve, and too kind for his own good, but he still had this independent streak that wouldn’t listen to reason. Thus Bohn became a more present figure in their lives, and with him came a whole new group of people. Ram did his best to be polite to them as they were his seniors not only in age but within his faculty. Most of them seemed to mind their own business as they had their own problems and studies to focus on. P’King though. P’King was a different matter. 

He’d met people like P’King before. People who saw this quiet guy with exotic features and they did their best to make him their new best friend. Whether for his reputation, or his looks, but they all soon left when they realized that his quiet nature was not just an act. He really didn’t talk. Didn’t like to talk. Words were a hindrance. Words were hollow. Actions mattered. Actions showed the truth. So eventually everyone left, because he saw through their words. Their acts crumbled beneath his cold stare. Words were silenced. They moved on. 

Not him though. He kept showing up. Kept persisting. Ram figured he’d eventually give up. He was never rude because he knew P’King was important to Bohn and Bohn was important to Duen. Duen was his friend so he had to be nice. 

The thing that stood out to Ram was as noisy, and nosy as this boy was, he was also quiet when it counted. He’d still and observe. He’d watch Ram. He had that uncanny ability to read a silence. He thought only his brother could do that, and that was only because they grew up together. It was because of this that he was allowed to continue. Ram usually hit a point where he couldn’t take the intrusions and the noise any longer and he’d find a way to slam that door shut, and eventually everyone left. Those silences are what kept P’King free to show up at study groups. To hunt him down for meals. To get closer than anyone since high school. 

In P’King he saw a lot of similarities with his dogs. They could be loud and boisterous. They could be intimidating. However, at the end of the day they were quiet and lent their strength and comfort to him when he needed them most. P’King had this ability too. It was kind of ironic actually, since the boy was so afraid of them.

The first time P’King had approached him he’d been so surprised when the boy jumped three feet in the air when the stray dog had come running to get the offered food. He’d never seen such a reaction to a dog, or any animal, before. Most people would tense up, maybe let out a small cry. Not jump and yell like they’d been suddenly lit on fire. At least he hadn’t run. Running was never a good option when animals were involved. He felt a little bad later when remembering how he’d just left. Left this guy with an obvious fear alone to get out of the situation on his own. 

He’d hoped that would be the end of it. He’d be the guy who left him alone with a dog and they’d just continue being people in each other’s circles. He’d been a little surprised to see him with the faculty’s event. Helping out building signs and such for the upcoming open house. He’d been able to write it off as just one of the things the seniors had to do.

He never planned, or imagined, that P’King would get his Line ID. That was an unexpected turn. One of the seniors, Tee he thought, had tagged him in something. Normally he’d just un-tag himself and things would move on. He hadn’t been fast enough. P’King saw it and saved it. 

Text messages were better. Less intrusive. Easier to reply to. The random stalker pictures were a bit unnerving, and yet still had that feel of concern. It was like P’King was letting him know that he was coming, so he could prepare and brace. This was almost nice. 

The real turning point was when they’d all ended up at P’King’s house after exams. Though the significance of this event was helped by several smaller interactions. Getting caught in the rain, riding on the bus and sharing headphones, the profile picture. Oh the profile picture put a lot of attention on him. He’d almost walked away after that. He’d become the focus not only of his friends, but Bohn’s friends, and then P’King’s sister. No that was all way too much. 

The plant. The unexpected gift of a plant from P’King was what had him coming back around. In his own special way P’King had noticed that the attention was too much. Too intrusive. Too pointed. Too everything. So he did what only Ram would know was meaningful. He’d raised a plant to give to him as an apology, and maybe something more, but Ram got the message. 

He knew how much care and attention P’King gave to his plants. To raise one specifically to give away meant something to him. So he accepted it. He read books on how to care for it. He did his best to not let P’King’s care and efforts go to waste. 

So when they all were “invited” to P’King’s family home to celebrate being free of exams, he’d gone along. He liked P’King’s home. It was filled with plants and all those little touches that made a house a home. The pictures of P’King as a kid were fun touches for him to examine while everyone was chatting. 

The tug to his arm, that he knew signaled he needed to follow this boy. He was glad he did. More so this time than before. The little paradise that P’King had built for himself in the backyard next to the river was akin to heaven. It was isolated from the rest of the yard and mostly hidden from outside observers. If he hadn’t been led directly to it he doubted he’d have noticed it. It was filled with plants that had their own calming energies. He felt comfortable as soon as they sat down. 

P’King had worked his magic. Letting him know that he’d noticed he was struggling with something, but not pushing. Just letting him know he knew. Offering up his hide-a-way as a retreat for the boy if he needed it. He didn’t even offer himself as a confident. He’d mentioned that he knew that there probably weren’t many people that understood him. 

Why hadn’t he said he understood him? That had confused him. Aside from his brother, P’King was someone who understood him nearly as well. Maybe he hadn’t let this boy know how much he’d gotten right. How much he felt the boy’s companionship. How he’d become someone he knew he could turn to. 

_“The person who understands me…is you.”_

As he watched the other boy’s face lighten briefly as the words sunk in he knew they’d be okay. The acknowledgement, and thankfulness that crossed P’King’s face spoke more than the few words he was able to get out following the confession. 

It was nice having someone he could sit with. Someone he didn’t have to keep up his defenses around, well not as heavily maintained. He knew that even if he didn’t say anything that this loud boy, this noisy boy, would hear him regardless. 

He’d taken the flower P’King had put in his hair home and pressed it in a book to keep it as a reminder to himself that the right people would understand you if they were meant to be around you.

When his world really began to crumble he felt so lost. He knew he couldn’t stay at home. Surrounded by the lies. The betrayal. All of it was too heavy. He couldn’t stay. Had to get out. He grabbed the things that were important to him. He grabbed some clothes too. Not sure where he’d go, but knowing he wouldn’t return home. 

He wanted to go to P’King’s little hide-a-way. He knew he’d be safe there, but he couldn’t interrupt his family. They weren’t that familiar yet. They’d probably let him in, no questions asked, but still he couldn’t do that. He had his dogs so he couldn’t ask P’King for help either. The rest of his friends. No they were busy, or would ask too many questions. So he wandered. Looking for peace. Seeking an answer.  
How could his dad do this? How could Pin be okay with this? How long had this been going on? How did it happen? How could he ever face him again? He’d promised not to tell anyone. He couldn’t tell his mom or brother. They’d be devastated. He couldn’t let them feel this. He wanted to keep them from this feeling. He’d carry this burden so they wouldn’t have to. 

It was a silly train of thought. Eventually the truth would come out. It always did. For now though. For now he’d carry this weight. He’d hold the truth, and look for a way through this. 

Eventually the rumbles of thunder made their way into his consciousness. It was going to storm soon. He’d given his umbrella to P’King and hadn’t replaced it. He needed to find a place to shelter the rain. He didn’t care if he got wet, but the dogs were not built for this climate, and them getting wet would not be good. He saw a covered picnic area and made his way there to think about where he could go. 

His best option was Duen. Duen had the space to take on him and his dogs. Also Duen wouldn’t ask as many questions. He always appreciated that about him. Like P’King he knew that the answers would come if they needed to. He’d been getting ready to call him, hoping he was still up at this hour, when he’d heard a small but familiar yelp behind him. He’d found P’King peering around the edge of the building. He’d pulled his dogs closer to show him that he’d be safe. 

He’s not sure how he’d been convinced to follow him. Words. Word’s had failed him. They always did, and now he was at P’King’s condo. Surrounded by the plants. Afraid to move further into the room. If he moved the dogs would follow, and P’King was already hyperventilating from fear as it was. They were all dripping wet. Not having made it back before the skies had unleashed the tears he could not shed on his own. They were making a mess. He looked around trying to find a solution to this puzzle. 

They’d been given towels to dry off. He focused on the dogs. If P’King didn’t mind he’d shower once he figured out how to settle the dogs down and get them to stay. He got them as dry as he could. His only option was to tie them to the door handles and hope that they wouldn’t move, or destroy the doors. 

P’King had let him shower, and even gave him some dry clothes as the ones in his bag were soaked from the rain. He’d called Duen to let him know that he was okay. As expected Duen didn’t pry, he just reassured him and let him know that he’d tell the rest.

He sat staring out the window. Relishing the peace and tranquility of his senior’s condo. The sky had stopped grieving for him. He got lost in his head. He heard P’King come back from his own shower, but kept his eyes focused on the city before him. 

_“Aren’t you going ask what happened?”_ he finally managed quietly.

 _“I don’t have to. I could guess if I needed to. Guess that something happened at home. Something bad. But not something you can talk to your friends about. So you wandered until I found you,”_ came the hushed reply.

How did this boy know him so well? He got all that from observation. From context clues he wasn’t even sure he’d given. He may be noisy, and always on the go, but that didn’t keep him from seeing everything. He’d turned back to the window. P’King said something about sleeping and turning lights off.

Even in this quiet place reality found him. He’d hoped the peace that resided here would be enough to chase away, or at least drown out, the worries and pain that filled him. He was not that lucky. Before he knew it his fortress crashed in on itself and he felt the tears spill forth from his eyes. His heart broke as the betrayal settled in, and all the thoughts and feelings he’d been trying to walk away from caught up with him.

He must have made a noise. He didn’t realize he had until he felt a hesitant touch on his shoulder. That touch brought him back just a bit. He’d turned to see the older boy standing over him, his face filled with concern. 

For the first time in his life the words came pouring out. His defenses were down completely and words were no longer the enemy. He told him about his father and his best friend. How they were having an affair and he’d found out. His father hadn’t denied it, and in fact asked him to keep it a secret. He was lost and didn’t know what to do. He turned his tear stained face to his senior before asking him what he should do.

_“I don’t know, but you can stay here as long as you need.”_

This boy was taking him in. Offering him a harbor in the storm. Even if he came with three dogs, he was welcomed here. He was safe here. As the senior moved his hand to his hair, to ruffle it affectionately and whisper that he’d be okay, the tears came harder and he found himself turning his head into the other boy’s hip as he continued to cry. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed up. He just knew the tears kept coming for some time. Eventually he’d worn himself raw and made his way to bed after washing his face. He was too tired to think any more. To feel any more. Sleep wrapped him tight and held him close. 

The next day was so filled with chaos that he was able to forget about his own problems for a while. They’d been conned into suddenly babysitting P’King’s nephews. That was mostly a nightmare. Kids had no boundaries and didn’t like silence. They chattered on and on. They were fascinated by all of Ram’s tattoos and wanted to touch and prod all the while talking about anything and everything. They’d taken them to the park to give them more space to get their energy out. It had sort of helped. 

Once they’d returned the kids he thought they’d end up with a bit of a breather. Nope. That is not what happened at all. P’King had been woken up from their sun nap by a barking dog, and mustered the courage to intervene when he found a homeless guy antagonizing the tied up dog. The bravery backfired when the man had come back with a large stick and attacked P’King with it. He was lucky he’d been able to interfere before a second blow landed. 

He’d managed to get P’King to the hospital. They were lucky that Duen’s cousin was on call. When P’Thara said that the wound would need stitches he felt his stomach drop. He knew that P’King and needles didn’t mix. He didn’t know what to do. P’King was still kind of out of it. He had to make this decision. He looked at P’Thara and nodded his head before reaching out to take P’King’s hands in his. He was hoping that the delirium would be enough to keep the inevitable panic and freak out, from having someone put a needle in him repeatedly, to a minimum. The red marks along his palms told the truth. No matter how out of it he seemed, he still knew what was happening. 

From there they were on the tree planting trip the engineering faculty had organized. It had been open to anyone who wanted to join, and that’s how their new expanded friend group ended up in the middle of the rainforest planting trees and exploring the various waterways. 

Something on that trip shifted things. He wasn’t sure what it was. He knew he’d pulled away when P’King had brought up his dad. He’d known that P’King hadn’t meant anything malicious about it, but it’d made the reality come crashing back in. He’d needed to take a beat. 

Maybe it was because TingTing and Tang had made off-handed comments about them looking like a cute couple. He hadn’t thought anything of it. It wasn’t his concern what other people thought. If they became something more that was something that would be discussed between him and P’King only. 

Maybe it was the second blow to his head that made P’King feel like he was being a burden. He’d been under Ram’s care for a few days now, and maybe he felt like he was taking too much away from him. They were there to have fun and spend time with their friends, and even though their groups of friends were mostly combined they were still separate enough to warrant the pull away. 

Whatever it was Ram felt it somewhere deep. He didn’t feel burdened. He felt good helping his friend. Repaying the many kindnesses the boy had given to him over the past months. This boy who had come and shaken up his world with his smiles and his teasing. This boy who went out of his way to show that he saw. That he noticed. This senior who made him want to get better with words, but accepted him without them. This man who took him as he was.

The distance that P’King enforced hurt him. He wondered if he’d done something wrong. Maybe he’d overstepped a boundary. He wanted to ask, but again words left him alone. He watched. Looking for a way to get close and maybe broach the subject, but he was rebuffed at every turn. 

Poker gave him his in. They’d gathered to play cards. Betting with shots instead of money. It became clear early on who the bad players were. Soon it’s just Ram, P’Mek, and P’Tee still sober enough to coherently play. With three of a kind he shut the game down. They began to scatter. The more sober ones helping the others back to the tents. He tried to get P’King up to get him back to their tent. It took a couple tries but eventually his senior stopped fighting back. 

The eruption that came from his senior when they got into the tent sent him reeling for a moment. He’d been pushed away and yelled at. Okay this is not how he’d wanted to talk things out, but maybe he’d get the truth now that the other’s defenses were muddied by alcohol. So he pulled himself up and sat in front of the other. 

_“Why?”_

It was all he could get out. Why are you lashing out? Why are you yelling? Why are you acting like this? 

He didn’t believe him when he lashed back with quick replies. No reason. You annoy me. Leave me alone. Go away.

He wasn’t going anywhere. They had to get to the bottom of this. They had become close. They had bonded. He’d found someone who understood him. Who gave him shelter when life was tough. No he wasn’t going to back down now. He was going to stay.

_“Why?”_

He watched as multiple things raced across his noisy boy’s face before it was filled with pain. Not a physical pain. He’d seen that look. No his eyes were filled with an unspoken pain, and fear. Why was this boy afraid? 

_“It tortures me. You torture me.”_

What was this? This truth was unexpected. Panic rose in his throat. How had he hurt this boy? Was his silence too much? Had he not repaid the kindness bestowed on him equally? 

_“I torture you?”_ he managed to get out.

The pause felt eternal. More emotions warred on King’s face. Fear. Pain. Worry. Something else was there too. He didn’t know what it was. Whatever it was was losing in the war for dominance. Determination settled in.

 _“Yes”_ came the firm reply. _“You make me feel good. You make me feel things I didn’t know were capable. Do you know how much I have to hold myself back when I’m around you?”_

Because you’re quiet. Because you’re reserved. Because you hold yourself at a distance. 

The words unspoken hurt more than those that were. He’d never felt so disappointed in himself for not being able to express things. Even still, he didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to tell him that he felt the same. That he wanted to be closer. That he was his noisy boy. That he was precious to him. That he’d…that he’d what…

_“I told you why. **Now go away.”**_

The words were thrown at him. They slapped him back to reality. This boy. His boy. His boy was hurting. His boy needed to know that he cared. 

He found himself being pushed back. No this wouldn’t do. Come on Cool Boy. You need to make this right. He pulled himself up and looked P’King in the eyes. Trying to find the words. Trying to make his eyes show what his mouth was unwilling to part with. 

P’King lunged at him again. He expected a shove or a punch. Okay he could take it. If this boy needed to hurt him to get to a point where he could see. Where he could understand he’d let him. 

When the boys lips crashed into his he was momentarily stunned. This is not what he expected. This was way down on the scenarios he saw playing out. Had his message been received? Had King seen what he’d been trying to say?

His mind went blank then as the other boys mouth moved against his. This kiss was rough and insistent. King had grabbed the back of his neck so that he couldn’t pull away. Not that he wanted to. This kiss was not what he expected, but it was something he wouldn’t let go. He knew now where King stood. Where he saw them. This was good. 

King released his mouth, but held on tight. A near sob breaking from his lips. No. Don’t cry. Don’t be sad. This is good. This is okay. Ram reached up and cupped the boy’s face. Used his thumb to brush away the tears before pulling him close. This time he initiated the kiss. Softer. Gentler. Exploring more. 

He didn’t pull away until he felt King relax. Accepting that he wasn’t being pushed away. That he was being accepted and welcomed. That his advances and feelings were okay. He held his boy close as sleep eventually took hold. His boy knew how he felt now. It was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the season ends with a bit more, but I wanted to end it here. Hoping that next season will give us more to explore and feel. I didn't want to end on that "what if" that the show does. Or rather the "I wasn't drunk" text.


End file.
